Today people are living longer than ever before. The average life expectancy in the United States is around seventy-nine years. As the population lives longer, an increasing number of families must confront questions regarding how to care for loved ones as they age. They may also question whether assisted living or Alaskan in-home care services may be better for their loved ones. Some seniors welcome the idea of downsizing and foregoing the responsibilities of homeownership during their golden years. On the other hand, others resist leaving the home and the community they have known for many years. Presenting a parent or loved one with the idea of assisted living could be challenging, depending on the individual. Your suggestion may be met with a certain amount of resistance, even if circumstances such as failing health or decreased safety prove assisted living is the best option. Below are a few ideas you can consider if your loved one refuses the idea of moving.

Listen

There is likely a wide variety of reasons why your elderly loved ones do not want to leave their homes, especially if they are already receiving in-home care services. Please take a moment to listen to the reasons why they may be resisting the idea of moving. This can help you to understand their thoughts and what they may be going through emotionally. It can also provide you with a better understanding of what is important to them as they age. Having this information can allow you to have an honest and open conversation about what is important to you as well, such as their health and safety.

Your senior loved one may be experiencing fear of change, anxiety, losing independence, or lifestyle concerns; especially if they have grown close to their in-home caregiver. All of these can affect any ability they may have to see the benefits of moving into an assisted care facility such as Baxter Senior Living in Anchorage, AK. On the surface, when an elderly love one continually refuses the idea of moving into a senior living facility, it may seem as though they are being stubborn. However, many studies point to deeper concerns and emotions they may be experiencing, such as how others will see them, how it will feel to leave behind family or friends, and what they’ve known as home for so many years.

Stay Calm        

Your senior loved one is accustomed to being independent and in control of their life and the decisions they make.  For years they have made choices about where they go, what they do, and how they independently live their lives. Also, they have been in control of the decisions made for their children’s safety and well-being. It is understandable to believe they could be mildly flustered at the idea of those who they have been responsible for so long, attempting to “make decisions” for them.

Your senior loved one is used to and has taken pride in their independence for many years. It is often challenging for them to come to grips with the reality that they have reached a point in their lives when they need help. As stubborn as they may seem, stay calm and don’t force the situation.

Remember They Are Adults Too

Think back to conversations you have had with a parent where you wished they presented their thoughts or information differently. Had they just “said it” differently, the point or information may have been less unpleasant to hear and better received. The same goes for a conversation about assisted living at Baxter Senior Living. It’s not what you say, but how you present it. In short, don’t be condescending. It is essential to speak to your elderly loved one about moving in a way that honors and respects the adults they are. Take the time to ask questions about why they don’t want to move. Asking such questions may help you to see and better understand their emotions and their perspective. Also, be empathetic to their situation. Be sure to consider how YOU would feel if the shoe were on the other foot, and someone was trying to convince you to move.

Allow Them A Sense of Control

Although this subject may be important to you (and it should be), constantly arguing your point is not beneficial to either of you. Try to be persistent without being demanding or obnoxious in your consistency. When you discuss assisted living, do so calmly. Explain your concerns and at the same time, provide an explanation of your proposed solutions. For example, if you are worried about your elderly loved one getting hurt by leaving the stove on or losing weight from not eating correctly, explaining how community-style eating in a senior living environment could be an excellent way healthy may help your loved one understand your thoughts.

Allow Them Time

Conversations about moving to a senior living facility may not come at the most convenient time. Unfortunately, they may occur in conjunction with (or shortly after) a loss such as the death of a spouse, an unfortunate diagnosis, or an injury resulting in a change of life for your loved one. It may seem like a bad idea, or a source of undue added stress to have a conversation about moving to a senior living facility at a time like this. However, this may also be the best time to “plant the seed. ” The truth is, there is no best or ideal time to have a conversation with your loved one about moving. There will always be concerns or fears that they may have unless you are one of the select few whose elderly loved one is excited about the concept of no longer living on their own. If you are not one of these select few, dropping hints early may give your loved one more time to get used to the idea and potentially see the benefits without a long drawn out series of potentially unpleasant conversations.

Take A Tour

When deciding Assisted Living or In-Home Care Services, it may be beneficial to take a tour of senior living communities. Visiting, will allow them the opportunity to see for themselves what it might be like if they move out of their family home and into a senior living community where consistent care and socialization opportunities are available. Although, physical tours are currently unavailable, many of these communities provide 3d virtual tours. By doing this their lives will feel more meaningful and fulfilling as they build relationships with members of their generational cohort and are stimulated by Baxter’s engaging residential activities. As these opportunities may not be available with Alaskan in-home care services, elderly adults may endure higher risks of isolation and depression when they live at home.

Most senior care facilities will allow your senior loved ones to see what the residential rooms and facility look like, try the food, and meet with the compassionate experienced staff that they will see day in and day out. These opportunities may help to change their minds if they are refusing to or on the fence about moving. During this research process, it is essential to remember that you are selecting a senior living community for your loved one, not for you. It is necessary to choose a facility with the services and capabilities, your loved one will need today, and as they grow older. Allow them to be part of the decision-making process. Asking for and relying on their input may make them more willing and potentially excited about assisted living, but it will also help ensure that your final decision is a place where they can remain happy, safe, and secure.

Convincing your Alaska senior loved one to move into a senior living community, such as Baxter Senior Living in Anchorage, AK, will take time and patience on your part. It is essential to listen to, respect, and address their needs and fears in a way that is meaningful to them. Ensure that your conversations help them feel that they are maintaining a sense of control in their future. Try to provide facts and present your thoughts in a calm and collected manner. Although emotion will play a role, try to avoid allowing emotion to control how you speak. If you are struggling to communicate with your loved one about moving, contact Baxter Senior Living and allow our staff to provide thoughts and suggestions around how to make the conversation easier and more effective.

 

Resources

https://seniorsafetyadvice.com/what-to-do-when-your-elderly-parent-refuses-to-move/

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/convincing-parent-assisted-living-142136.htm